OntheWilderSide

Dear Elon Musk,

In case your boss (do you have one?) asks you, here is your office memo answer for “What did you do last week?” in five, handy-dandy, bullet points.

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Dear Supervisor,

I am Elon Musk. This is what I did last week (well, maybe in the last few weeks):

1. Thwarted and possibly destroyed the US Constitution. (Also, the Separation of Powers and the Rule of Law.)

2. Sowed fear into immigrants in America such that an 11-year-old girl in Texas took her own life when bullied by her friends about her parents’ immigration status.

3. Accidentally fired essential employees who maintain and guard America’s nuclear stockpile. (And, lost their emails, making it difficult or impossible to call them back to work.)

3a. Oh, I have also given notice in total to about 30,000 workers. That includes Air Traffic Controllers and FAA workers, so I guess you could say that I also helped down some aircraft.

4. Tried to stay on task with my new consulting job to the President and his evil, conservative/white nationalist Project 2025 cronies, while deflecting requests from two of my former partners to help two of my children in need.

5. Attacked or attempted to attack the sanctity of classified data and American citizen’s data at: The Treasury Department, The Department of Education, The IRS, and other agencies.

In summary, Mr. Putin, I believe I have done a great job and you should consider me for a promotion.

Yours Truly,
Elon Musk
DOGE

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Filed under: Data Privacy, independent politics, politics, progressive politics, rants, Satire, US Politics Tagged: | Comedy, data privacy, demand to federal workers, DOGE, Elon Musk, Federal Workers, five bullet points, force federal workers to document their work, Musk's bullet points, political comedy, Powers of Elon Musk, satire